I’ve been sitting on this story for a while because I’ve struggled to find the words. How do I put into words the best experience of my life?

I started researching home births at the height of the pandemic when I heard stories of women who had to labour and deliver their babies alone as family members / partners weren’t allowed to be present in theatres and L&D wards due to social distancing rules. I knew that if given the choice, I’d rather have a baby at home than without my (now) husband present. I watched a lot of home birth videos on YouTube and it looked absolutely magical. I couldn’t believe that people were actually birthing their babies at HOME!! All my family and friends have delivered their babies in a hospital setting, mostly via C-Section, with the exception of my uncle being born very quickly and ‘accidentally’ at home 50 years ago. I Googled home births and midwives locally not knowing whether I’d find anything and sure enough, one of the 1st links that popped up was to Crystal’s website – Midwife by Nature.

As I read page after page of what she does and what her values are, I couldn’t help but think: Why isn’t everyone doing this? I started following Crystal on socials long before our paths would officially cross, even requested her pricing so that I could prepare myself for ‘one day.’ After having multiple bad experiences with OB’s and being triggered by hospitals after having lost multiple pregnancies and leaving hospitals empty handed time after time, I knew I wanted something different in terms of prenatal care this time around and, hopefully, delivery as well. That’s when I seriously started considering going the midwife-lead, homebirth route. And so the convincing began.

I mentioned my desire for an out-of-hospital birth to some family members and my husband and of course I was initially met with some hesitation and many questions, but, having followed Crystal for years and seeing every other day the beautiful babies that she’s delivered  and all the informative content that she posted, I was already quite confident in my decision and was simply waiting for everyone else to get on board, which they did without putting up too much of a fuss after having looked up Midwife by Nature themselves. We had a phone call with Jeremy, Crystal’s husband and business partner who explained the financial details to us (he dealt with our medical aid from the 1st payment until after the birth which took a big weight off of our shoulders,) he also listened to our story and told us theirs and after the call we felt so at ease and reassured with the fact that our primary caregiver for this pregnancy would be a professional, registered midwife who shares our views on birth, is rooted in her faith and would not be treating us like a number or patients, but as individuals and clients.

We scheduled our first appointment which was more than an hour long (around 20w.) We discussed our history, desires and ‘why’ for wanting a homebirth. Crystal checked my vitals and we listened to our baby’s heartbeat. My husband and I left and couldn’t stop talking about how wonderful our experience was, how seen and heard we felt, how happy we were with our decision to go the out-of-hospital route and how we loved Crystal and Jeremy’s ‘vibe.’ We informed our families of our decision and some were more supportive than others but we knew that their responses came from a place of ignorance and fear and ultimately they supported us regardless. The rest of our appointments went similarly. Crystal answered all of our questions and volunteered information that we didn’t even think of. She had the big task of calming my nerves at least once a week as I am quite easily excited and questioned my own abilities at times but we left on a weekly basis, informed, calm and reassured that we are capable and exactly where we need to be.

We had some scares early on in the pregnancy but Crystal monitored me and bub closely and managed our care beautifully. As we got closer to the ‘due date’ I became more nervous but also more excited. I had a long wish list for the dream birth I envisioned. I romanticized the idea of home birth so much in my mind from watching years worth of births online (most of them edited vlogs, showing only the pretty bits) and I remember thinking… people never get EVERYTHING they want and I had to be open to any outcome and prepare for anything and not get my hopes up too high for the picture perfect birth in my mind. But lo and behold… on the evening of the 14th October, after my 41w appointment I asked my husband to rub my hips as they were very sore from sleeping on my sides for weeks! He gave me a quick 2 minute massage as they do 😜 and by the time he got into bed I felt wet. I told him I had just peed myself! He said well go change 😂🙈 when I got to the loo I noticed that the fluid that had come out was very clear and although I was drinking lots of water at the time, my wee had a tinge to it at least, it wasn’t that clear.

Anyway I wiped and when I got to the cupboard to put on new underwear, I ‘peed’ myself again! I told him I think this is something else… 💡 I think my water broke and I got silently scared and excited simultaneously. From what I’ve seen and been advised, the next thing to do was to rest as much as possible so I got into bed and lay waiting to fall asleep but alas my excitement got the better of me and as my husband drifted off to sleep, I got my 1st ever contraction. The BH I had experienced before then were intense but never sore so I knew this was it and so I lay waiting for the next one and the next one. By 1AM I remember doing a quick tally and noting that I had had about 6 contractions since around midnight and that they were about every 10mins apart. I thought… this was going to be a looong day. So I tried to stay in bed at least and not exhaust myself. But as the contractions progressed, I noticed that they were closer together and that I felt like I needed to 💩 every time!! So I ended up alternating between the bed when I could manage to lay down and the toilet when I couldn’t. This went on for a couple of hours until my husband woke up before 6.

I got into the shower after I let Crystal know that I was in a lot of pain and felt nauseous during contractions. She said it’s best we come through to the birthing home once we’re ready. I took a looooong life saving shower and left home after 7. We arrived at Crystal’s around 7:30. The birth photographer was already there and everyone was in high spirits. I agreed to be checked for dilation shortly after arriving and was very surprised to learn that I was only 3cm! How long is this going to take!? Came to mind. I went outside into the lovely garden, smelled some of the fragrant plants, stood with my bare feet on the grass, in the sun for a couple of minutes grabbing onto and leaning on my husband through contractions until the pressure became worse.

I went inside and tried to lay down but it was very uncomfortable so I tried sitting on an exercise ball which was slightly less uncomfortable. Crystal monitored my contractions to see how far apart they were and checked on baby’s heartbeat to see how she was handling everything. Everything was perfect.

I alternated between the ball and the toilet for a while but was in a lot of pain so Crystal offered to fill the birth pool and I agreed hoping that it would relieve some of the pain and be more comfortable.

It did and it was!

After getting into the pool Crystal asked whether I wanted to check for dilation again and I agreed.

To my surprise and delight I was 7cm!!

My husband kept pouring water over my back and stomach and Crystal watched quietly as I moved around in the pool in reaction to what my body was doing. A few contractions later my body involuntarily started pushing. I remember looking at Crystal fearfully because I ‘wasn’t at 10cm yet’ and I wasn’t pushing but I was pushing and didn’t know what to do. She calmly told me to not fight my body and to not be afraid of the pain and to just go with it. So I let it happen. I let the birth happen. A few more involuntary pushes and I felt a MASSIVE relief. Her head was out. I could feel it and I was equal parts excited and scared. My pregnancy was about to end and I was about to step into my calling. Crystal felt for a nuchal cord, which there was and gently pulled it over her head. She asked me whether I wanted to catch my baby and to reach down and push on the next contraction. I held my hands out and with the next contraction I pushed and felt my baby leave my body as I took her into my arms.

It was overwhelming. Gospel music was playing in the background and everyone present cheered with joy as she emerged from the water. I looked at her and she looked at me and we clung onto each other both crying. We had about an hour in the water together in which time I birthed the placenta and nursed her for the first time.

It was transcendent.

I handed her to my husband and was helped out of the pool onto the bed. Crystal measured and weighed her after my husband cut her umbilical cord and she was handed back to me for more nursing and snuggles while Crystal checked my vitals and attended to my tear. We arrived at the birthing home just after 7:30, 3cm dilated. Baby Lia was born less than 2.5 hours later at 10:02. By 1pm I was having snacks and snuggling my girl in my own bed.

Throughout my pregnancy I felt seen, heard and held. Throughout the birth I felt exactly the same.

Crystal was such a rock(star) from our first meeting until our last post natal check up and to date, she’s been answering all our questions addressing our concerns and checking up on all of us when we get too quiet. She respected all of our wishes and truly made my dream birth come to life. Her calm demeanor and wealth of knowledge was truly exactly what I needed as a FTM embracing pregnancy and birth this way. Our journey together is far from over as we don’t only consider her the best midwife, but as a great friend who we hope to have part of our lives for years to come.

We are equally grateful to our birth photographer who we HIGHLY recommend. Deidre from By Grace Photography. She is a beautiful soul with an eye for magical moments. She captured our birth quietly, respectfully, gracefully and beautifully!!